My Emotions

Shampooing is the activity that I hate the most. Every morning I have a quarrelling session with my Mamma, convincing her not to give me head bath and not to use Shampoo.

Using face wash and face cream are secondary things that I hate.

Recently I have got few rashes on my face, which leads my Mamma to be over protective and wash my face often followed face cream.

Yesterday when she was giving me bath, I just got pissed off with the way she handles my face. I started crying crying crying….non-stop for 15-20 minutes I cried and my Mamma chose to ignore.

I was in the bathroom all drenched, while she simply left me alone and finished her morning chores. Later on she came and pacified me. Though I was not pacified, I somehow left the topic and went to school.

Now, in the evening, again the same saga started.

Mamma: Aryan come, wash face, and apply cream. (Doesn’t she understand that I have my own individuality?)
Aryan: No I am not washing it now.

She insisted few times and she went to kitchen for cooking.

After sometime I approached her for helping me fix some puzzles.

She simply said: “You are not listening to me, why should I listen to you?”
Aryan: “Sorry mamma, I will listen to you, but will not wash face.”
Mamma: “Then I will also listen to you, but will not play puzzles with you” (This is Tit for Tat or what???? What is she planning to do? )

After that our terms deteriorated more and somehow she managed to feed me some food.
When papa came, again I approached her for some help and she tried to be over smart by ignoring me.

I just felt very very SAD. For the first time in three yrs, I am feeling this serious SAD emotion. I hope you understand…

I sat on the sofa and did not talk to anyone for 15-20 min.

Papa asked: Aryan, what happened?
Aryan: Mamma doesn’t love me, she scolds me a lot. I am SAD!!!
Papa: What, you are Sad? Who told Mamma doesn’t love you?
Aryan: Aryan told myself !!!
Papa: Ok, Mamma come here and say sorry to Aryan.
Mamma: Sorry, Aryan, let us have a mutual understanding by listening to each other!!!
Aryan: No, you go away. Papa we will buy new Mamma from shop.
Mamma: Sorry dear, come let me hug you.

When she hugged I busted with all tears rolling down my cheeks. I couldn’t continue to be SAD without crying. It was a mixed emotion, a feeling of love, insecurity, sadness, inferiority…..

Somehow got pacified and I slept. But, I still have that grudge with my Mamma now… When will this feeling disappear? Even Mamma is eager to know that!!!! Can anyone help?